What can I say? I'm a yeller. My voice is one of those voices that gets progressively louder as I get more irritated/excited/frustrated, you name it. So it goes without saying that my kids hear a lot of yelling, maybe not a LOT of yelling, but certainly when I've reached my limit, and certainly when I am already tired, when it's a certain time of the month or when I haven't had my coffee yet (don't judge me, caffeine is an addiction!).
So this morning, I am scolding my 13 month old for removing the floor vent (for the millionth time) and I look at my 3 year old and he's standing there with his fingers in his ears looking at the floor. WOW. GUILT!!!! So I pull his fingers out of his ears, and pull him into my arms and appologize to him (for the millionth time) for yelling. And then of course to console the 13 month old who is now bawling at my feet for getting the firm (but loud) "Don't TOUCH!".
Not my proudest moment as a parent, but I am trying, and I am learning that I can't be perfect all the time, I will lose my temper, and I will still yell, but I have made the committment to my sons to TRY to yell less often, and to remember to appologize when I do.
"It's really easy to beat ourselves up when we suffer what we feel to be a "lapse" in our vision of parenting. The truth is that being a parent is HARD and sometimes we do or say things we're not proud of." A good friend of mine said this to me and it was just what I needed to hear. Being a parent IS hard, and it's nice to know that you aren't alone.
Bravo!!! I have had to apologize to my kids a million times over the years for yelling or jumping to conclusions or being sarcastic to one of my teens etc, etc, etc... As long as we are genuinely trying to be the best parents we can be and are willing to admit when were wrong we are modeling true adult behaviour. And that's what counts.
ReplyDeleteI yell too. We all do. The ones who say they don't, are LYING! :)
ReplyDeletePlease don't beat yourself up for these little things. I know it seems like a big thing but it is only one moment in time. When you feel the need to yell, it usually is to protect your babies. It's better to yell than have one of them hurt. Take a deep breath and remember it's only one day. We tend to think that we will scar our children for life, if we aren't perfect. But nobody is perfect. We do the best we can. There are no guarantees. You are a very good mother and I am proud of you. Those boys are happy and you can tell that they love you. Do what you have to do to keep them safe. I love you!
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