What can I say? I'm a yeller. My voice is one of those voices that gets progressively louder as I get more irritated/excited/frustrated, you name it. So it goes without saying that my kids hear a lot of yelling, maybe not a LOT of yelling, but certainly when I've reached my limit, and certainly when I am already tired, when it's a certain time of the month or when I haven't had my coffee yet (don't judge me, caffeine is an addiction!).
So this morning, I am scolding my 13 month old for removing the floor vent (for the millionth time) and I look at my 3 year old and he's standing there with his fingers in his ears looking at the floor. WOW. GUILT!!!! So I pull his fingers out of his ears, and pull him into my arms and appologize to him (for the millionth time) for yelling. And then of course to console the 13 month old who is now bawling at my feet for getting the firm (but loud) "Don't TOUCH!".
Not my proudest moment as a parent, but I am trying, and I am learning that I can't be perfect all the time, I will lose my temper, and I will still yell, but I have made the committment to my sons to TRY to yell less often, and to remember to appologize when I do.
"It's really easy to beat ourselves up when we suffer what we feel to be a "lapse" in our vision of parenting. The truth is that being a parent is HARD and sometimes we do or say things we're not proud of." A good friend of mine said this to me and it was just what I needed to hear. Being a parent IS hard, and it's nice to know that you aren't alone.
